The Proposal Story

March 7th, 2010 dawned like a cold day in Vietnam. The light came through my curtains but it was a grey light that cast no shadows, and did not induced a party of sunshine vitamins within my body.
Contrary to how the day began, I was very excited. Lest us forget; this was proposal day. It was 7.30am.

Since Hannah had to be at church an hour earlier than normal, I had to pick her up at 9.20am, which left me precisely only a bit of time to create one of the most mediocre 'proposal themed' clue trails in history. I sprang up, grabbed a suitable desert spoon which would later be dubbed for eternity 'the digging spoon' and left the house (after putting clothes on and ting).

I drove for 10 minutes before I realised I'd left my map and clues behind. I went back to get them, lest us forget that these were vital to the clue trail.



So, Hannah and I first started going out at Blaise Castle, so it was only fitting to venture back there to propose. Or it was unimaginative and convenient. But how unimaginative is a 'proposal themed' clue trail? So hush your gums.
I got googlemaps involved which told me approximately 0.5% of what Blaise Castle would actually be like when I was laying a trail there. I hammed together some amazing clues which loosely led around the landmarks of Blaise castle.
The first clue was for Hannah before we got there, the rest were buried by me and required Hannah to dig them up with the digging spoon. Here they are:

1.
Hello, I am a clue which will lead you to an exciting place!
Follow my trail of riddles and you will be rewarded
Go to a burning manor
Search at the foot of the left-most shrub

(Clue 1, pretty easy. Except the left-most shrub was meant to be one of 3 next to the carpark. In real life, there were about 15 trees next to the carpark.)

2.
Well done! You are a very talented detective Miss Barnes.
To reward your efforts I provide a small gift.
Across the pasture you will find a wood.
Look for the greenest of the green

(Googlemaps said that in the midst of the dark green trees was a light green dazzling tree, sadly winter had ruined that)

3.
Congratulations, you’re cleverer than I gave you credit for!
Another reward for such sterling investigating
I wish to learn more about this “Blaise Castle”, follow me!

(Faint praise)

4.
You’re a very special lady Miss Barnes!
Following all these clues so easily, I’m very impressed.
I’m thirsty, but I only want water from a round expanse.
I lay my clue where the Billy Goat’s gruff lives.

(Wrong! I was referring to underneath a bridge, but that's where the troll lives!)

5.
You are a wonderful lady Miss Barnes!
You are near the end of your journey.
Stand at the bridge, facing where you have come from,
Travel to the first tree in you line of sight.
Once there count 10 large steps North
Then 17 large steps East
Then 12 medium step West
Dig down 20cm...

(Googlemaps said that this would work, real life said that there was a path surrounded by cliffs.)



So finally Hannah was guided to the area where she was to dig for the mystery 20cm deep prize. I'd dug a little bit of earth so that it looked like I'd been there previously and buried something, but after about 2mins of struggling with rocks, roots and worms, I think Hannah was losing faith that this was the right place. I tried to encourage her that this was correct, "maybe underneath the rocks...", "a little to the right maybe?...", Hannah was beginning to fall out of love with the loyal digging spoon servant.

As the kids and dogs moved away the perfect proposal moment approached, I didn't know whether to be on one knee already, or make a big show of it. As I was deciding, a man and woman came walking into our secluded area and hung around for a bit, deciding where to go. This meant another 10 minutes of torturous digging for Hannah. I chipped in a bit of the digging, it was exciting to dig for something!

Eventually all the men, women, children and dogs dispersed and conditions were again perfect. Hannah was soldiering on with her digging spoon against a nice wide layer of rock which was never going to yield.

"Hannah, there's not actually anything in the hole"

I think by this point her suspicions were growing, she turned around and said something like "why?" or "Oh".

I was on one knee as my jeans will proove. I said "Stand up", so she did. I held her hands and said, "Will you marry me Hannah Barnes", can't exactly remember what she said but it was a positive answer.

That's when we cracked open the tiny champagne...

The photobooth story

So, I needed some passport photos. Where do you get passport photos from?

Well the obvious answer is... it varies, but often supermarkets, arcades and train stations cater for the needs of photo hungry passport and visa requirerers.

So I tootled off to Bristol Temple Meads station (built in 1839 by Brunel, it hosts a myriad of trains, photo booths and other reputable services).
The lovely station woman in the season ticket window had no change for my tenner (I'm too weak to carry four £1 coins around, it's much easier to carry five or ten of them in the form of paper and change up when the time requires) so I required another way of obtaining appropriate coinage.

The main ticket windows were all chocker with travellers hoping to set sail on a clickety-clack journey of escapist wonder, and so my gaze turned to the lovely shop run by William Henry Smith.
I purchased some worcester sauce flavour crisps which cost 93p (a shocking markup from their wholesale price) but which left me with precisely a fiver, 7 pence, and four £1 coins which perfectly matched my mission objective.

I preceded delightedly out of the shoppy shop and bounced along to the photo booth making sure that I kept my crisps hidden so that the lovely station woman who failed to change my tenner earlier didn't feel bad for making me spend money for no reason.
I took a seat in the photo machine and dared to wonder whether I'd, just this once, look respectable in the four tiny images about to be created. I clumsily inserted my four Great British Sterling discs and waited for the patronising woman to finish explaining all the things she loves explaining.
I adjusted the seat and waited in heart stopping anticipation for the countdown... 3... 2... 1...

POWERCUT!

Oh bother. Two seconds later the power came on again but the machine had forgotten me. I told the lady, she said there was a number to phone but gave me £4 because she was really really nice.

Then I got my photos done and carried on my day.

The End.